Sunday, October 08, 2006
why am i so afraid? what am i so scared of?
why is it that everytime,
i would let things go when i want to hold on?
am i actually unafraid of letting go like i tell myself?
or is it that i'm too afraid of trying to hang on..
if that's the case, why is my heart still holding on..
when my mouth says i've let go?
i want to move on.. but i need those answers, i'm stuck in the past..
i need directions, i'm worn out by the storms..
everytime, you pass and dissappear,
a cold wind comes by and i cease to be in control..
i shiver with tears welling up in my eyes..
the cold so intense, piercing into my soul,
my very existence questioned by the wind..
why am i dragging on.. i'm holding such a weight on my heart,
dragging my feet on.. walking along.. my heart wants to give in..
i want to drop the weight.. can i?
i've sworn not to flash you a false smile..
so if you see my yet i look expressionless.
you should know why..
pm me when you're online..
if you read my bloghappy people live with out a past and future..
they live for the present, the moment..
they live in the time called now..
yet, they find no meaning, the need no reasons or explaination..
life insists, meaning and happiness are two different roads..
so, it dangles meaning on it's right hand..
and happiness on it's left.. the left hand is the hand of creativity..
and the right, the hand of jobs and hard work..
to find meaning, you must be able to carry the past,
no matter how dark..
and live for the future,
no matter how uncertain it may seem..
if you're seeking happiness,
you need not do so..
as the past is dark and the future too blur..
finding meaning is alot of hard work..
but, my whole life, i seek meaning..
and now, i'm stuck in the past.. i need an explaination..
give me one.. please..
thickening the mask and nourishing the devil@ {5:47 PM}
