you, trying not to depend on me,
have set yourself on a road,
way steeper than any you've climbed

because you think, that if you, try to
meet some expectations, then i maybe,
just maybe, you won't look weak,
but now, what has happened?

tell me, why does it have to be this way?
i turned up yesterday, against all of my
will. because hope upon hope,
i would reach you, no, in the end?
you thought i was there to hawk over you.

i was on the verge of killing,
and if i hadn't promised never to turn
to violence, unless it's to protect myself,
i would have. i would have shouted at you,
i would have burned the pub.

but i didn't because i wanted to talk to you.
why do you have to insist on hiding things?
why do you think that if at the canal,
i can get you drinks, i would prevent you
from drinking if you wanted?

i only remind you about it, the day after.
but you failed to realise that, i have
NEVER stopped you from a drop of drink.
pressure? i never pressured you.
unless my presense in itself did
THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU NOT TELL ME
IN THE FIRST PLACE THAT YOU WERE GOING
TO FUCKING DRINK AT A PUB?
its easy as hell to disappear.
but i didn't do so. cause i loved you.

you think i don't know something's going on?
you think i didn't know? what? xr can't keep a
lie for fuck's sake. insisting that i shouldnt go,
making dumbass decisions for me w/o
informing me? i won't find something wrong?

disappointments after disappointments,
i hate it when i hear my buddy's boyfriend say,
"lynard deserves better, she's not worthy"
cause to me, you are worthy.. more than worthy

but i get very disappointed when i see that
sometimes, your priorities, does not include me.

the problem may be because we set too many
ideals and because we thought too much
about the future and the past that we forgot
the present, the 'present' is called 'present'
because its a gift, and every moment we are
together should be considered a gift,
a novelty. maybe if we get to start over again,
we should just keep things simple
and focus on our present state.

it pains me, to know that i have someone
but i can't hold her, to know that
she is 1st, but i am not.
i set that break for your sake honey,
for you to see if i am number one
or just no one.

i already said, you may choose to end the
break at anytime and start all over again
in a relationship or as friends




hurt, all you ever knew was hurt
what about happiness?
where is your faith and determination?
i told you it was all a farce
you never cared did you?
you never cared if something would burn you

you knew your chest hurts at times
literally.
but now, they hurt all the time,
emotionally.

you don't want to take a break?
you crave for human touch and so you
appear promiscuous.
you are supposed to give her security
what the hell are you doing?

you cant expect to have comfort all
the time, you knew the heart could
be treacherous, you knew your control
wasnt that good under too much stress
cause you dont want to die,
you say it like you dont mind but you
do, you cared about death
you dont want to see him knocking
at your doorstep and the name he reads
out happens to be a name so familiar
you dont want to see it.